You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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