My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
