apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
