dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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