Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
