sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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