6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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