I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
You took a bar mat shot.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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