And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
