Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Randomize
