my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
