Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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