2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
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