Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Randomize
