I think I died a long time ago.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I had to cum in my sink.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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