your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
