She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
