New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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