Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
