Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
