Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize