Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
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