I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
