i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
