Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
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