What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
