dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
He has the fingertips of a God
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