No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
