once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
