I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Randomize
