complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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