dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
