Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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