we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Randomize
