You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize