My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
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