i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
So much rum. So many feels.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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