Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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