just survived the first fart of the relationship.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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