so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
being pregnant is like rehab
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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