So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
