no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
