He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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