omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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