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so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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