guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
