There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Swine flu. Run for my life!
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
