We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize