It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
