Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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