When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
