what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
