I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
