She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
it glows. i had to have it.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
