come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
