DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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