that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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