so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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