dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
