You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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