.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
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