its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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